⠀:⠀সূর্য দেবতা

06/08

જ⁀➴⠀I feel numb, born with a weak heart
I guess I must be having fun

⠀⠀𓆝⠀𓆟⠀𓆞⠀𓆝⠀𓆟

Why is my boyfriend highkey so gay bro why is he lockerfucking his bff this is NOT OK!!!!!

I went to America recently and it was really boring but it was also kind of pretty so like okay whatever. For the first time in my life I actually felt like... a decent amount of confident in the way I look but it literally dissolved the minute I came home LMAO. Every single photo I took I made it like a big deal to try and do an expression where I'm not smiling because my smile is SO fucking ugly like holy shit. I genuinely cannot be caught dead as happy it is not ok you guys

Also I like am constantly, every single day, rediscovering that I have POTS LMAO. I was literally just a bit ago thinking why do I only feel good when I am lying down? and like. Brother!! It's exhausting though I constantly feel like I'm lagging it's so hard to stay upright. I wish I could fix it somehow or do something to alleviate the pain or tiredness but the only thing that really helps is just lying down but that's so BOOOOOOOOORING I hate chronic illness

Anyways I still really need to upload to Nynem. It's so dead, and I know it's a more like.. passion leaning passion project but I feel so bad just leaving it to rot because I share it with Victor and I really like it and all and sighhhh